Nightmare and Past
by pumpkinnubbin
Summary: Sam doesn't sleep anymore. Her past is following her in her dreams. Rated T to be sure.


_First of all I want you to know that I'm really attached to that story though it's maybe not that good at all. I will know when you have read and comment so I'll be patient =P _

_Second, English isn't my first language so you might forgive me any mistakes and keep them if you want to. Plus it's unbeta'd so forgive me if it got a bit confusing or anything._

_I owe nothing than the idea of this story, sadly but if, things would have turned out different these 10 years of Stargate._

_Maybe a bit OOC. I tried to realize some tips I was told, thanks for them, btw._

**Nightmares and Past**

She hadn't really slept for days now. Once she woke up shaking like the earth in a quake. Since that she tried to calm herself with work. Kept herself busy in her lab and refusing to sleep at all. She was afraid. Sam was afraid of going to sleep and couldn't tell anyone either. Everyone who knew her well enough knew that something was going on that bothered her. Sam was a 24h-worker but this was something else. Something deeper. It was just different. That wasn't Sam Carter anymore.

Jack got worried when she explained him she had to finish that work though it was already finished by days. It wasn't new for him that Sam said 'no' when he asked her to stop working and get some rest instead but these last few days… Jack could tell that that she avoided sleep but any tries from his side to get her talking about it failed so he made his way up to Janet.

"Doc? Can I have a minute?" Jack asked knocking on the door.

Janet turned to face him and nodded. "Sure."

"See, ahm, I'm worried about Carter. I think she's avoiding sleep, you know? For days I would say after I saw her today. She's not talking to me so maybe you could figure out what's wrong." He slowly explained Janet.

"Yeah, I was almost thinking that… I'll have a talk with her when I'm finish here, ok? When I find anything out I'll let you know, Colonel. Could something have happen on the last mission or here on base that could be a reason for her behavior?"

"Not as far as I can say. The mission wasn't a big deal. We met some people but they were as peaceful as Daniel so nothing really happen. Everything stayed calm and on base…Well, she kept herself in her lab with some work most of the time so I don't think so. I hope you'll find out what's going on, Doc."

Jack stood up gave Janet a worried look dedicated to Sam and left. He really hoped Janet would find something so he could stop worrying or at least be able to help her in some way. Otherwise, Sam would work herself to a pass out. That was the last thing Jack wanted to happen.

When he passed Sams lab to check if she were alright so far he heard her sobbing inside. Carefully, he entered the room.

"Carter? Sam?"

Jack slowly moved towards her.

"What's wrong?" He spoke quiet and yet calm.

She was sitting in a corner of the room her knees hugged tight to her chest, her arms crossed above her knees and her head ducked in the free space between them. Sam didn't look up. She just continued crying not even noticing him.

"Sam, please, talk to me."

Gently, he touched her arm and kneeled down in front of her.

"Sam."

No reaction. It broke his heart to see her like that.

"Go away." He heard Sams quiet sob. "Leave me alone."

Jack shook his head at her out of a reflex and replied softly, "I won't leave you like that."

Then he took her arms away from her knees. However, she was still not looking at him.

"Sam, what's going on with you these last few days? We're all worried about you. Please…talk to someone. If not with me then with Fraiser, Daniel or Teal'C. He's a great listener." He said with a sad sub tone.

That was the moment Sam finally looked up at him. Her eyes were red and still full of tears. Jack had never seen her like that before. It was hard for him to believe that someone could break her that way.

"Sir…I-I can't." She whispered.

Sam didn't try to hide her feelings anymore.

"I can't take that anymore. I haven't sleep for a week now I guess. I…I'm tired, weak and just powerless. I can't concentrate on anything. I'm scared. I'm afraid of closing my eyes and may fall asleep, Sir. I…" She admitted and burst out crying again. Jack tried to calm her somehow while also trying to get more answers. He just didn't know how. He didn't recognize her anymore.

"Sam..Why are you scared? There is nothing to be afraid of. Fraiser can give you some pills-"

"No! I-I don't want to sleep! I'm afraid of it."

Jack didn't get it. He couldn't understand why so far. The something inside him made 'click' and a thought crossed his mind. It came clearer and clearer to him but he had to make sure.

"Why?" He asked softly not pushing her for an answer but hoping for one.

Maybe he was right. Maybe the thought that had made his way through the fog to take place in his head wasn't just a thought.

"It's ok if you don't wanna talk about it with me but maybe with Janet-" He was interrupted once again by Sam.

"No no no… I…don't think Janet would understand the way I think you can." Her eyes begged for something- anything.

Jack waited for her to continue which followed after a few breaths she needed to calm again.

"I…I have nightmares...That's why I think you understand…after Charlie…I'm sure you had some too…" Sams voice almost broke while telling him that and Jack imply nodded.

Yes, he had have nightmares. Bad nightmares. His son was dead and his dreams about it didn't disappear so fast. He just hoped Sams would go away faster than his. However, it had to be a really bad one since she hadn't sleep for a week. He had done the same after Charlie- avoiding sleep so he won't die again but it hadn't help at all. At least Jack was right with his idea about Sam having nightmares.

"What are you dreaming about?" He carefully asked.

Jack knew that nightmares that keeps you up that long really had to be the worst people could think of and that it wasn't easy to talk about those but it helped. Sam took her time to answer his question and Jack waited patiently. It was difficult for her to find a point from where she could start and was glad that Jack listened and waited without pushing her or giving some sort of remark. He was there and that helped because she knew he wouldn't leave her.

After Sam took a deep breath and had calmed a bit she began talking, "It began when I was a kid about 17. My best friend disappeared suddenly and some days later I got a message from her. I had giving her a little present I built myself to her birthday. We used to write us with them just like we're doing it today with our phones. Anyway, she texted me and told me what happened. She begged me not to tell anyone so I didn't. She was kidnapped… 2 days later I suddenly had the kidnapper on the other side. He told me what he did to her in every sick detail and he forbid me to stop texting him or he would kill her…"

While Sam began to cry again and stopped speaking for a few Jack was shocked. He cursed himself for wanting to threw some stupid remarks in her speech. On the other hand he couldn't believe what Sam had just told him. That was… worse than anything he could have think of. He didn't know what to say and it still was her turn to talk anyway- if she still wanted to.

"I was awake for days in which I texted with him during the night and with my best friend over the days. No one saw, though. They didn't know her, she was on another school but no one noticed something was wrong with me. I was good at hiding and even my tiredness no one seemed to notice." Sam continued and began to shiver but didn't stop talking, "I didn't tell anyone. I was too afraid he would kill my friend. Then I tried to make a deal with that guy… Somehow he found out where I live and knew about my family. He didn't care my dad was an Air Force General after he wasn't home that often anyway. He knew everything…I said he could have me as long as he would give my friend free… He was ok with it but my friend done something. I don't know what but the deal was gone suddenly. I tried it again and again and he wanted me. He…wanted to have me… He called me special…I said yes once again…But it never happened. It never got that far. He was caught before. My friend went to the hospital. It didn't look good but she made it and moved away. We used to write us until I got here…More or less…That guy…He said he would get me- would follow me until he would get me and last week…he went out of jail… He will find and get me, Sir…" Sam ended her speech of what have happened to her crying almost having a breakdown and Jack simply embraced her.

It seemed to be the right thing for him to do. For something else he was still too shocked. "That's what you're dreaming about? That he would get you? Sam…He won't. You're the strongest person I know. Besides we're all here and this is the safest place on earth. He can't find or get you in here-"

"That Ashrak almost killed me in here!"

"I know, Sam but this time…nothing will happen to you. I promise you. No one here will let anything bad happen to you, ok? I'm here, always. You just have to say something. He. Won't. Get. You. Sam. Never. … Maybe it helps when you stay with someone?"

She glared at him in deep surprise.

"Someone like you?"

"Or Janet, however you want."

"Maybe it would help…I will…ask Janet, ok? And thank you, Sir."

Jack pulled back a little and smiled at her.

"Always, Sam."

He stood up and found Sam right in front of him after she stood up as well.

Another knock on Sams open lab door made Jack and Sam look to the door. Jack smiled when he saw who it was. In the door stood Janet and looked at both of them. Jack turned his gaze back to Sam and squeezed her arm before he went to Janet.

"We talked but I'd like you to do her the favor she'll ask for." With that e finally left heading to his room knowing Sam wouldn't be alone and would – hopefully – get some sleep.

"Good you're here…Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

Janet stepped in and looked at Sam. She seemed to be a bit better.

"Can I…Could I stay with you tonight? And maybe a bit longer?" Sam shyly asked.

Janet was surprised but agreed without hesitation. Sam thanked her friend and her a hint of a smile which Janet replied with a soft smile by herself.

This evening Sam went to Janet. They decided to sleep in one room after some company would be good for Sam.

That night Sam slept without a nightmare and the next days flied over and Sam slept peacefully- as long as she knew someone was in the same room with her.

The kidnapper from Sams past and her nightmares tried to find her but had no luck. He was shot in a robbery 2 days after he left prison.

No nightmares caused Sam any trouble anymore.

_**I really hope you all liked it. Please let me know what you think of it. Critic, advise and ideas are most welcome. **_

_**Hope to see you all again with my next FF :)**_


End file.
